Strawberry Wonder Kiss » Ask Tressa! http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:59:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ en Reader Thoughts from Zimbabwe http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/609/reader-thoughts-from-zimbabwe/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/609/reader-thoughts-from-zimbabwe/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:21:12 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=609 Thank you for the wonderful advice you are giving in “Ask Tressa” column. You are a true chipangamazano, a real and good adviser. I’ve learned lots from all the letters submitted and the answers you gave.

Let me just add a few comments though on one or two issues.

First I echo the writer who moaned the lack of quality films. I get really put off by the films available where there’s no plot or story line but just pounding of flesh. There’s no finesse in the lovemaking. Then there’s the issue of limp dicks sometimes! I must say though that this (pounding flesh) is not cultural amongst us black people, well, at least from Zimbabwe here! Five years ago my grandfather in his was telling me about foreplay, how I must never rush a woman but must take time to satisfy her. He spoke at length about making sure the mood was right, caressing and fondling and the actual act! I was shocked since I had grown up reading white books and ended up assuming that culturally black men are rough towards their women.

The second issue is about how we as black people must relate to each other, especially our partners, get to know them and then respond to THAT! NOT what other people are saying or doing. If we see something in other couples and we it then let’s try it but if it doesn’t work for us then let’s stop it and NOT feel inferior or pressured at all.

Let’s keep loving.

One

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/609/reader-thoughts-from-zimbabwe/feed/ The Elusive Orgasm http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/607/the-elusive-orgasm/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/607/the-elusive-orgasm/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:17:32 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=607 Q: HI Tressa, I’ve been with my for 2 yrs now. i lost my virginity at age 23 and i still have not yet had an orgasm. I don’t know what it is. I’m convinced it’s me and somethings wrong with my body, i mean i can enjoy even tho it hurts every time in the first 3 minutes but after that its fine but i can never reach an orgasm is there something i can take like a gel or pill to make my desires sky rocket??

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/607/the-elusive-orgasm/feed/ A Divided Soul… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/605/a-divided-soul/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/605/a-divided-soul/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:15:20 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=605 Q: This is not easy for me…i am having some feelings that i am not quite sure i understand. About two (2) years ago i meet a sistah that turned me on in a way that no one ever has. i guess i must preface this by saying that i am a married 24 year old woman, and i have never been w/ a sistah before. However, for some reason i have not been able to get this woman out of my mind. We never went “there” she’s a really good friend to me. But, every time i see her i get goose bumps and my body starts feeling sensations i never thought i had. Growing up my mother always told me that somethings should remain a fantasy, but this has been going on for a while now and it just will not go away. My life with my husband is so wonderful and though we have our moments he is the best thing that has ever happened to me outside of our child. He is a wonderful son, man, husband and father. We are very open with one another but i have never told him about these feelings. This is another thing that bothers me…i kinda feel like if i can’t share this w/ him then it must be dirty or wrong. My spirit can not rest and my soul is torn..please help a sistah out! ~A divided Soul~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/605/a-divided-soul/feed/ Give It To Me Straight… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/603/give-it-to-me-straight/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/603/give-it-to-me-straight/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:12:49 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=603 Q: I’ve been meeting men who are very nice, easy on the eyes, and as hell. I establish friendships with these men. My problem starts when they want to take the friendship to a level. I express that I don’t have with a man who isn’t doing anything for me, and they become very upset. Now I’m a gold digger, and a few other choice words. Give it to me straight, am I tripping, or they just don’t have a clue. ~CH~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/603/give-it-to-me-straight/feed/ Threesome… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/601/threesome/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/601/threesome/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:09:57 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=601 Q: Hi I would like to ask you, how can I get my wife to partake in a threesome. she mentioned it about three years ago but haven’t brought it up since, now I am ready, how do I bring it back up? ~Dre~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/601/threesome/feed/ Sexually Frustrated… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/597/sexually-frustrated/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/597/sexually-frustrated/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:07:05 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=597 Q: Ok, my is 7 years older then me. and he has been sexualy active since he was very young (he’s 26 now) and i just started getting sexually active. I want to have all the time. I it. But him, he doesnt and it makes me feel like hes tired of having , like its boring to him or something. I am a beginner so i have no idea what to do to make him want to have more. I have an attitude all the time because i dont get any and i dont want to be forced to find pleasure in other ways or *people*. please help. Thanks ~Sexually Frustrated~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/597/sexually-frustrated/feed/ I’m Ready… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/593/im-ready/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/593/im-ready/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:03:54 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=593 Q: I have really been feeling this guy I’ve known for about 2yrs. For these past two years I have been extremely sexually attracted to him. The attraction has been growing stronger and stronger and I have made up my mind that I really want to have with him. The dilemma is that I don’t know how to approach him to ask him for it. I don’t want to come out and say “hey would you sleep with me?”. I don’t want my approach to be trashy, but I do want him to take me serious. Now the other part of the dilemma is that I’m still a virgin(I’m 22 yrs old) and he knows this. So, I’m just kinda worried that it will hurt and that’s kinda making me hesitate. I do want you to know that I’m not doing this because I’m tired of being a virgin. I’m very secure in that fact. I want to do it because that’s what I think about doing every time I think about him! I really like him and I’m ready to have , but I just don’t know how to go about doing it. ~LaShonda~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/593/im-ready/feed/ In Need Of A Boost… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/590/in-need-of-a-boost/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/590/in-need-of-a-boost/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:53:38 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=590 Q: Me and my fiance are both 21 years old. He loves to have all the time, but I really don’t care for it all the time. What can I do to boost my ? ~In Need Of A Boost~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/590/in-need-of-a-boost/feed/ Normal… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/587/normal/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/587/normal/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:50:11 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=587 Q: I hope my question doesn’t sound too strange, but: Is there a normal amount of that a healthy, should be having?? Should it be up to the couple to negotiate the amount of they have, or is there really an amount “too low” for any couple??

I ask this because my girlfriend and I have been dating for over five years, and it is an incredible . I feel completely emotionally fulfilled, and almost-completely sexually fulfilled. The is great, however we both acknowledge that we don’t do it as often as we’d like. In fact, when we talk about it, we say that we could be doing it more, but we’ve never felt like we have a weak because of that. has very rarely been the source of an argument or disagreement, and we are very open about expressing (and satisfying) our wants and needs. Just to be more clear about how often we have , sometimes we may have once or twice a week, while other times (usually during the winter) we may have once or twice a month.

With all that said, it still seems like the media (and some friends) are “telling” us that we don’t have a “normal” because we don’t do it often enough or have a steady schedule.

Neither my partner nor I feel like we have any serious problems, or that our is dysfunctional, but I’ve begun feeling this pressure to have more just to be “normal.” ~Rebel Music~

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]]> http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/587/normal/feed/ Good Black Adult Films… http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/573/good-black-adult-films/ http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/573/good-black-adult-films/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:30:30 +0000 SWK http://www.strawberrywonderkiss.com/?p=573 Q: I am a socially progressive young black woman. My partner and I want to watch good together, but the only that features loving couples are white feature films.
All the black seems to be perpetuating horrible stereotypes of , and it disgusts me and my partner. Can someone please steer the two of us in the right direction, or are we just looking for something that doesn’t exist? We simply want non-white that shows loving couples having . We both like all the “mushy” stuff that is featured in those positive white porns, but are not particularly turned-on by the balloon-breasted platinum blondes. Help! ~Achebe~

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